I’m going to re-post this blog post I made at the end of March in 2019. Almost 3 years ago and it’s still relevant. Maybe this is selfish of me, and maybe it’s just me complaining or feeling sorry for myself, but you know what – it’s ok. If it triggers one person to check on a friend they haven’t spoken to in some time then I’ve done my part, and that’s all that matters.
“Social Media – A Love/Hate Relationship”
Sometimes I run these little experiments in my head, because I enjoy the self-torture I guess. “What happens if I don’t initiate contact with people and they don’t currently need anything from me? How long does it take someone to ‘check in’?”
I know those are selfish “experiments”, and honestly I don’t know why I even do that to myself because I always end up disappointed and depressed about the “results”. Sometimes it can be days, weeks, or even months before a single word is spoken, and about half the time once that single word is spoken it’s because something is needed of me.
I’m a people-pleaser. I can’t help it, it’s just my nature. I want people to be happy, I want them to like me, I want them to have what they need to make them happy. But sometimes being a people-pleaser is a very lonely existence. Sometimes you give all you have and then some, and get left feeling like that little kid no one likes sitting by themselves on the playground. And it’s a shit feeling.
Being an adult in their 30’s-40’s and up is kind of a raw deal when it comes to friendships. You’re stuck somewhere between the seemingly “ride or die” friendships you had as a kid, where nothing really mattered except that you both liked Lisa Frank or riding bikes, and now friendships that consist of finding some parents of your kids’ friends that you have something in common with and can enjoy hanging out occasionally while your kids play. And honestly, that kind of stinks. I really miss the close-knit, note-passing-during-class, late night super deep phone calls, drop everything and go kind of friendships that came so easy when we were kids. It’s not so easy making those kinds of friends anymore.
So I guess in closing, I’m going to play on a lot of those memes that go around on Social Media, because it’s kind of ironic really. You know the ones I mean… “Check on your friends with (a, b, b….) – we are not ok!”
Check on them. You may never know how much it means to someone.
