Today, I almost died… or at the least almost lost my mind

For realz guys, my life flashed before my eyes.

We had a great morning, a play date with friends, lunch at the roadside burger stand we love so much (well, that was so very close to being a disaster with a kiddo face full of barbed wire, but we narrowly avoided that little catastrophe…), and then on my way home I had to drop a check/contract by our utility district for a deposit on some concrete work we’re having done at the house tomorrow.

The SLUD, as it’s kind of affectionately named, is on the second story of a two story fancy-schmancy office building. I wonder if they’re spending so much on rent that they’re unable to afford repairs to our main roads, but hey, that’s a complaint for another day. I have both kids in tow, and it’s bordering on nap time, especially for the littlest. We go in, a baby on my hip and a sassy 4 year old by the hand, and I look around for the steps. Climb the steps to the second story, make it into the office, hand over the check while dealing with two kids annoying each other and squawking, and then head back out the office door. This is where it started to go downhill.

These kiddos are starting to get on my last nerve. Don’t judge my mom skills, y’all, I KNOW you’ve been in my shoes. Tatum (the four year old) insists on taking the elevator back down to the 1st floor….. from the second floor. I’m too annoyed/tired to argue, and even though I have this nagging fear of elevators I give in.

She pushes the button, the doors open, we get in. She pushes the number 1. The elevator starts to move….. ever….. so….. slowly.

DING! We make it to floor one…….

….. and nothing happens. Seconds start to tick by, and at first it’s ok, but after about 5-10 seconds (which seems like an eternity at this point) Mama starts to panic internally. Holy shit, I’m gonna get stuck on an elevator with two kids 4 and under who are overdue for their naps. I start to hyperventilate, I’m internally losing my shit, my life’s memories flash before my eyes. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. Probably about 60 seconds in I become crazed and desperate. I start smacking the “Door Open” button repeatedly. The doors open up almost instantly like there was never any problem.

And mommy walks out, cool as a cucumber on the outside, baby on my hip, and a sassy 4 year old by the hand, and nobody is the wiser to my minute and a half of complete internal meltdown.

Living the dream, y’all…… Living…… The…… Dream……. 😉