Tag: wine because kids

Your mother wants you to buy this…

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Well, maybe not YOUR mother, but THIS mother wants you to buy this. Seriously, I’m going to be absolutely blatant with my product recommendation in this post.

This crap works.

I’ve been using Eco-88 since I very first started managing an upscale doggie daycare over 12 years ago. One of my customers told me to try it and I was skeptical, so I didn’t for over a year. I mean, I’ve used stuff like this before and it NEVER works as advertised. NEVER.

We had a stain at our old house in the guest room where our elderly dog had thrown up on the carpet about a year before. Finally I got tired of seeing it and decided to give a bottle of this stuff a go. I mean, I got an employee discount, right? Why not!

ECO-88 STAIN AND ODOR REMOVER

HOLY COW you guys, it took a YEAR OLD stain RIGHT OUT of the carpet, no scrubbing, no elbow grease, just sprayed in on and in minutes it was gone. It didn’t even bleach out the carpet. CRAZY BUSINESS.

So I started putting it on EVERYTHING. Random 14 year old stain at my parents’ house that had been there since they bought the house? GONE! That one took a little rubbing, but seriously…. FOURTEEN YEAR OLD STAIN….. GONE.

I started recommending it to ALL my customers, and NOT JUST those with dogs, ESPECIALLY those with kids. I had a “Mommy Meet-up” at my house once and one of the kids spilled a juice box on my carpet. The kid’s mom started freaking out and I told her, “don’t worry, I got this”, pulled out my little bottle of magic and it disappeared as about a dozen moms watched in awe and then asked where I got that because it was now a NEED.

Now, I don’t know what’s in this stuff… “enzymes” supposedly. To be honest, I don’t care. IT’S THAT GOOD. I will say though if you get it on your hands and don’t wash them when you’re done with your stain cleaning it will turn your fingertips white (I assume that is said enzymes eating your skin, because, you know, you’re organic and all) but I just don’t bathe in it when I use it so I don’t have that problem. Seriously. Spray, wipe/rub a little if you need to, and let it do its thing. You won’t be disappointed!

Here’s the link again, in case you missed it the first time. šŸ˜‰


Hide and Seek!

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There is something ā€œhiddenā€ in this photo that proves that Iā€™m a freaking awesome mom – and the first one to point it out gets….. nothing. Sorry, my kids take all my money. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ #badassmom #humbletoo #freakingawesome #bloggersofinstagram #sahmlife #sahm #momblogger #momblog #familyblog #familylife #motherhood #mommyblog #instamom #momsoninstagram #bloggerlife #dailyparenting #bestofmom #momlife #livethelittlethings #motherhoodunplugged #hotmessexpress #mommyproblems #momproblems #familymoments #parenting101 #nothingisordinary #motherhoodunhinged #motherswhoblog #lifewithlittles #mindyourbiscuitstx

Lesson Learned…

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After a tough morning of very little listening and crap attitude, and then asking her over a dozen times to get her socks and shoes on so we could leave, I decided I’d teach my 4.5 year old a little lesson about listening and following instructions…

-“Tatum, you have one more chance and then Wyatt and I are leaving and you’ll be here by yourself”

-“OK, Mom!”

-Waited a couple minutes, no action. So I pack up Wyatt, yell to her that we’re leaving, make a big production of opening and shutting the door. I put Wyatt in the car, get in, and start it. Then I wait, watching the front door……

-and wait.

-and wait….

-Shut the car off, go back inside. “Get your butt in the car Tatum, for realz. What are you DOING?!?”

-Cue the crying….. but not for the reason you think.

-“But I wanted to stay here by myself!!!!!!”

*facepalm*

Things Kids Say Part Deuce

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I’ve been having trouble lately with getting Tatum (the 4.5 year old) to go to the bathroom by herself at night. She’s also going through that scared of the dark/sleeping by herself phase, so kind of a double whammy. Each night I start the evening out with nicely begging her to stay in bed. She responds with “but if I really really need you, you’ll come in, right?”

Of course I will.

However the “really need you” moments have lately been getting more and more, um, how should I say…. creative. Tonight, for example….

-“MOMMY, I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU!!!!!!”

-I go into her room (btw, this is the FOURTH time since I put her to bed about 20 minutes ago). “What do you need, Tatum?”

-“Mommy, did you know I’m ALLERGIC to COYOTES???”

-“Um, no, kid, I wasn’t aware of that. Because you aren’t.”

And while it’s funny, it’s also annoying, because it happens at midnight, 3:30 in the morning, 5 in the morning, and so on and so forth. Last night I got about an hour and a half stretches of sleep between both kids. Mommy gonna lose her mind over here.

Anyone else with kiddos have that issue? Could really use some advice, or random thoughts, or maybe even some vodka and funny memes. šŸ˜‰

Stuff I Love!!!

MindYourBiscuitsTX

Just updated the Stuff I Love page on the website! Ā Some really fun new things, so be sure to check them out!

What kind of stuff do YOU love?? Ā I love learning about new STUFF so be sure to comment and let me know!!

STUFF I LOVE!!!!

Someone slap me already…

MindYourBiscuitsTX

Sometimes I get all crazy and decide to go full blown “Pinterest Mom”… this usually results in stupid consequences like spending $60 on stickers and die cuts and blank cards and envelopes so I can make cute little handmade Valentine’s Day cards for my kids classmates.

Cards that I spend hours making even though I’ve procrastinated until close to the last minute because lazy mom overpowers Pinterest mom and I have to talk myself into doing it.

Cards that I then realize these kids don’t give a crap about and will end up going straight in the trash in favor of some sort of candy.

I just wasted 3.5 hours of my life I’ll never get back, y’all….

šŸ™‚ šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜‚

What the wha?

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***Edited to add, she DID have pants on***

My toddler made me scratch her butt crack in public today. Seriously, threw a fit – I told her to scratch her own butt but she would NOT give it up.

So I scratched it. Because I’m a mom, and that’s what moms do apparently.

She made a huge exaggerated sigh and said “ahhhhhhh” like it was the greatest thing on earth.

No longer “snack bitch”. Now I’m demoted to a butt scratcher…..

#momlife

Cool story, bro.

admin

We had a weekend “task” sent home from Tatum’s daycare this weekend… to trace her body on a sheet of butcher paper, cut it out, and send it back.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*wipes tears* no, I’m serious.

She’s FOUR. It took two of us to hold her down to get the outline drawn and even then, THIS is what we ended up with:

Wtf? One impossibly skinny leg, one somewhat normal leg with a cankle, freakishly large hands with fat but crooked fingers, a lumpy waist (not that I can judge on THAT lol), no neck, and what the hell is going on in the shoulder area? Oh, and don’t forget that flat part of her head that looks like her skull has been flattened but is actually me trying to avoid getting permanent marker in her ridiculous mass of hair.

I hope the other kids look as effed up on paper as she does, cause that just ain’t right. (Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I don’t hope the other kids are ACTUALLY effed up, I just don’t want to be the only parent with zero skills… because how the heck do you get a ticklish four year old to lie still for longer than 3.5 seconds???)

Just a little bit of everything

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It’s been a long, overrun by four year old attitude kind of day so I’m not in the best mood now but it was fairly productive.

Took Tatum to Home Goods to get a journal she wanted. Had to take it away five minutes later because she wouldn’t listen. Gave it back to her at lunch, got taken away again by 4:30. *sigh*

It’s always amazing to me that she can remember the exact location she had an ice cream cone 6 months ago when we pass it, but she can’t remember something I told her 25 seconds ago.

I can hear my parents laughing from here…

So while we took a breather from one another for a bit I worked on a “motivational board” for my craft room I’ve been wanting to do with this vintage frame I got. Got it all done, super proud of myself, stepped back, looked up to admire it…

…it’s crooked.

So now my “motivational board” is becoming more and more demotivating every time I look at it. #OCDproblems – I did manage to straighten it as much as I could which helped a ton, but I guess this is the first exercise in learning to be ok with being “Perfectly Imperfect”.

The kids were even more difficult after nap, so I just let them run amuck in the house with Biscuit (the original Biscuit!!) and tried to get through cooking dinner without losing my cool. I’m happy to say that I got there, but it wasn’t the most pretty thing ever.

Once we finally got everyone to bed I worked on another project I’ve been putting off: my Memory Keeping. This was on my list of resolutions for 2019 and I failed on day two šŸ˜‚ – I spent some time thinking about how I might could make it easier to keep up with and I decided to start doing just “A page/photo a day” in these standard size booklets from Cocoa Daisy and my HP Sprocket Photo Printer. Of course I had to start back on January 2, because I’m lame, but I made it through Jan 11 tonight and I’m hoping to do 10 more tomorrow and Thursday until I’m caught up! Since they’re small pages and I’m just making little notes/captions about the day instead of journaling a whole bunch of blabber, it’s going a lot quicker and it’s a lot more enjoyable/fun to do!

I went to film a video for y’all on the first 1/3 of January I had finished, but then Wade walked in and embarrassed me so I quit filming šŸ˜‚ I’ll try again tomorrow when everyone is out of the house!

These kids today…

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Lawdhavemercy these kids are giving me a run for my money today!

———————

Tatum: “Mommy, do you have a camera in the playroom?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Tatum: “Are you watching the camera Mommy?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Tatum: “Can you not watch it for a few minutes?”

Um…. no, child, and you need to work on your sneaky because that ain’t gonna cut it. šŸ˜‚

———————-

Five minutes later it’s all of a sudden super quiet, which any mom worth her salt knows is NOGOOD and I walk into the kitchen to find her with her arm up to her elbow in the fish tank.

“WHAT are you DOING?!?”

“Leekie wanted me to pet him….”

One of the gazillion things I never thought I’d ever say pops out: “Fish don’t like being petted, leave him alone”

*sigh*

These kids need out of the house – I just need to get over this freaking bronchitis first!