Y’all – My 22-month old (who doesn’t have very many recognizable words yet) just very clearly said “STARBUCKS” and I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or proud of that. 😂😂😂
Tag: parenthood
Hide and Seek!
There is something “hidden” in this photo that proves that I’m a freaking awesome mom – and the first one to point it out gets….. nothing. Sorry, my kids take all my money. 😂😂😂 #badassmom #humbletoo #freakingawesome #bloggersofinstagram #sahmlife #sahm #momblogger #momblog #familyblog #familylife #motherhood #mommyblog #instamom #momsoninstagram #bloggerlife #dailyparenting #bestofmom #momlife #livethelittlethings #motherhoodunplugged #hotmessexpress #mommyproblems #momproblems #familymoments #parenting101 #nothingisordinary #motherhoodunhinged #motherswhoblog #lifewithlittles #mindyourbiscuitstx
Meet and Greet Series – Post 1
I don’t show my crazy mug very often (and technically I’m not showing it here either) but a little series of “Meet and Greet” is in order so here goes.
I’m Jamie, married to the same wonderful dude for 12 years this fall, and we have two crazy and adorable kids, a 4.5 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son (this photo was taken almost a year ago, I know he doesn’t look 2 here lol!) We have a 16 year old cat, Checkers, and a 16 month old border collie, Biscuit (the original Biscuit!)
Originally from the Blue Ridge Valley of Virginia, I’ve been in Texas since 1997. More in-depth (Part 2 of who knows) tomorrow!
#texasblogger #bloggerlife #meetandgreet
Today, I almost died… or at the least almost lost my mind
For realz guys, my life flashed before my eyes.
We had a great morning, a play date with friends, lunch at the roadside burger stand we love so much (well, that was so very close to being a disaster with a kiddo face full of barbed wire, but we narrowly avoided that little catastrophe…), and then on my way home I had to drop a check/contract by our utility district for a deposit on some concrete work we’re having done at the house tomorrow.
The SLUD, as it’s kind of affectionately named, is on the second story of a two story fancy-schmancy office building. I wonder if they’re spending so much on rent that they’re unable to afford repairs to our main roads, but hey, that’s a complaint for another day. I have both kids in tow, and it’s bordering on nap time, especially for the littlest. We go in, a baby on my hip and a sassy 4 year old by the hand, and I look around for the steps. Climb the steps to the second story, make it into the office, hand over the check while dealing with two kids annoying each other and squawking, and then head back out the office door. This is where it started to go downhill.
These kiddos are starting to get on my last nerve. Don’t judge my mom skills, y’all, I KNOW you’ve been in my shoes. Tatum (the four year old) insists on taking the elevator back down to the 1st floor….. from the second floor. I’m too annoyed/tired to argue, and even though I have this nagging fear of elevators I give in.
She pushes the button, the doors open, we get in. She pushes the number 1. The elevator starts to move….. ever….. so….. slowly.
DING! We make it to floor one…….
….. and nothing happens. Seconds start to tick by, and at first it’s ok, but after about 5-10 seconds (which seems like an eternity at this point) Mama starts to panic internally. Holy shit, I’m gonna get stuck on an elevator with two kids 4 and under who are overdue for their naps. I start to hyperventilate, I’m internally losing my shit, my life’s memories flash before my eyes. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. Probably about 60 seconds in I become crazed and desperate. I start smacking the “Door Open” button repeatedly. The doors open up almost instantly like there was never any problem.
And mommy walks out, cool as a cucumber on the outside, baby on my hip, and a sassy 4 year old by the hand, and nobody is the wiser to my minute and a half of complete internal meltdown.
Living the dream, y’all…… Living…… The…… Dream……. 😉
Lesson Learned…
After a tough morning of very little listening and crap attitude, and then asking her over a dozen times to get her socks and shoes on so we could leave, I decided I’d teach my 4.5 year old a little lesson about listening and following instructions…
-“Tatum, you have one more chance and then Wyatt and I are leaving and you’ll be here by yourself”
-“OK, Mom!”
-Waited a couple minutes, no action. So I pack up Wyatt, yell to her that we’re leaving, make a big production of opening and shutting the door. I put Wyatt in the car, get in, and start it. Then I wait, watching the front door……
-and wait.
-and wait….
-Shut the car off, go back inside. “Get your butt in the car Tatum, for realz. What are you DOING?!?”
-Cue the crying….. but not for the reason you think.
-“But I wanted to stay here by myself!!!!!!”
*facepalm*
Learning as I go.
It’s kind of funny, but I’m starting to realize (yes, I’ve been a parent for almost 5 years now, why do you ask?) that you’re constantly learning and evolving in motherhood/parenthood. I learn lessons every day but I always forget to write them down, which means I generally forget the lesson, repeat my mistake, learn it again, and maybe that time it’ll stick.
Two Lessons I learned today:
Daylight Savings Time will ALWAYS suck when your kids are under 13.
Seriously, we never really had a problem with daylight savings time before. I am not bragging, it just never really was a big deal. For some reason, THIS YEAR SUCKS. It was fine all day Sunday, but Monday was fairly rough with neither kid napping much and both of them being fairy cranky. Then last night I SWEAR they didn’t sleep at all, followed by crap naps for both today, and it’s now 10:15pm at our house and they’re STILL FLOPPING AROUND in their beds. Now listen to me, I love my kids, but enough already! Whoever invented daylight savings time and decided to stick with it was probably a group of dudes who never had kids.
Going to a major attraction, like say, The Crayola Experience, on a rainy day in the middle of Spring Break is just stupid, stupid, stupid.
I got an invite, I didn’t think anything about it except “That should be fun, I bet the kids would love that AND playing with their friends?? Win Win!”
Lose. All around.
It’s a SUPER COOL PLACE, don’t get me wrong, and I’m certain we’ll make frequent use of the season passes I bought us, but hell’s bells people, not on Spring Break, and sure as hell NOT when it’s RAINING on Spring Break. I’ve never seen so many people in my life. It was by far my MOST stressful parenting experience so far in my life. At one point both my kids took off different directions, I lost one, chased the other one, and sighed with relief when I caught him and heard my friend yelling that she had eyes on Tatum. For realz. I don’t know how half those parents didn’t make it home without their kids. Insanity.
Things Kids Say Part Deuce
I’ve been having trouble lately with getting Tatum (the 4.5 year old) to go to the bathroom by herself at night. She’s also going through that scared of the dark/sleeping by herself phase, so kind of a double whammy. Each night I start the evening out with nicely begging her to stay in bed. She responds with “but if I really really need you, you’ll come in, right?”
Of course I will.
However the “really need you” moments have lately been getting more and more, um, how should I say…. creative. Tonight, for example….
-“MOMMY, I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU!!!!!!”
-I go into her room (btw, this is the FOURTH time since I put her to bed about 20 minutes ago). “What do you need, Tatum?”
-“Mommy, did you know I’m ALLERGIC to COYOTES???”
-“Um, no, kid, I wasn’t aware of that. Because you aren’t.”
And while it’s funny, it’s also annoying, because it happens at midnight, 3:30 in the morning, 5 in the morning, and so on and so forth. Last night I got about an hour and a half stretches of sleep between both kids. Mommy gonna lose her mind over here.
Anyone else with kiddos have that issue? Could really use some advice, or random thoughts, or maybe even some vodka and funny memes. 😉
Things kids say….
Yesterday I was dropping Tatum off at her preschool, and they have horses there. We’re driving past the pasture and I comment to myself that there’s a ton of horse poop out there.
“That’s not horse poop, Mommy. It’s way too light brown”
So I launch into an explanation of that’s what horse turds look like and why until she gives me this “you’re stupid” look and exclaims:
“But it’s in PILES!”
Yeah, kid, it is. Big ones. 😂 Still poop.
Also tonight:
“Sharks aren’t allowed at my swim class because they’re too sharp.”
#truedat
Strap that baby to a chair!!
No seriously guys, this one is for all you mamas of little ones out there!
I found this amazing invention on Amazon the other day and wanted to give it a try. I have my beloved “Tie Chair” but to be honest the bulk and complication of the whole thing makes it difficult to take with us to restaurants and whatnot. I get tired of trying to stuff it in a diaper bag or my purse, tired of trying to tie the knots secure enough, and let’s face it. I’m just tired. 😉
This “Cozy Cover” looked interesting, and the price wasn’t bad, so I thought – I’m already buying crap on Amazon so WHY NOT? AMIRIGHT? It came the other day but I didn’t take it out of the box until yesterday to try it out.
ERMAGERD you guys, this thing is super easy to put on the chair, the shoulder straps are nice and secure (much to my son’s annoyance LOL), and it folds up (or stuffs into, if you’re like me) a little tiny pouch that fits in just about any purse or diaper bag. I LOVE IT! Plus it’s machine washable. BONUS.
I seriously hate restaurant high-chairs (if they even HAVE them half the time), because they look like they’ve been through some kind of high school food fight several years back and never cleaned, OR they’re rickety, OR the buckle on the safety strap is broken, OR they’re missing the crotch strap and your son manages to clothesline himself on the waist bar…. (don’t ask me how I know THAT), OR any ungodly combination of the above. This solves all of that – for realz…..
Unless your restaurant has stools with no backs instead of chairs…. if that’s the case, you’re just screwed. Good luck. 😉
Find it on Amazon here!!! https://amzn.to/2He11Ss
Some days I actually have 3 kids… and not one of them knows what’s going on around them.
Tatum: “I miss Derby, so much, what did he look like again?”
Wade: “He was brown and white”
Tatum: “yeah, I miss him”
Wade: “You have Biscuit now, she’s ALSO brown and white”.
Me: “Dude, she’s BLACK and white… are you for realz right now? You’ve lived with her over a year now”
Wade: “oh yeah, I guess she’s black and white, Tatum”
😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️