Learning as I go.

It’s kind of funny, but I’m starting to realize (yes, I’ve been a parent for almost 5 years now, why do you ask?) that you’re constantly learning and evolving in motherhood/parenthood. I learn lessons every day but I always forget to write them down, which means I generally forget the lesson, repeat my mistake, learn it again, and maybe that time it’ll stick.

Two Lessons I learned today:

Daylight Savings Time will ALWAYS suck when your kids are under 13.

Seriously, we never really had a problem with daylight savings time before. I am not bragging, it just never really was a big deal. For some reason, THIS YEAR SUCKS. It was fine all day Sunday, but Monday was fairly rough with neither kid napping much and both of them being fairy cranky. Then last night I SWEAR they didn’t sleep at all, followed by crap naps for both today, and it’s now 10:15pm at our house and they’re STILL FLOPPING AROUND in their beds. Now listen to me, I love my kids, but enough already! Whoever invented daylight savings time and decided to stick with it was probably a group of dudes who never had kids.

Going to a major attraction, like say, The Crayola Experience, on a rainy day in the middle of Spring Break is just stupid, stupid, stupid.

I got an invite, I didn’t think anything about it except “That should be fun, I bet the kids would love that AND playing with their friends?? Win Win!”

Lose. All around.

It’s a SUPER COOL PLACE, don’t get me wrong, and I’m certain we’ll make frequent use of the season passes I bought us, but hell’s bells people, not on Spring Break, and sure as hell NOT when it’s RAINING on Spring Break. I’ve never seen so many people in my life. It was by far my MOST stressful parenting experience so far in my life. At one point both my kids took off different directions, I lost one, chased the other one, and sighed with relief when I caught him and heard my friend yelling that she had eyes on Tatum. For realz. I don’t know how half those parents didn’t make it home without their kids. Insanity.

Things Kids Say Part Deuce

I’ve been having trouble lately with getting Tatum (the 4.5 year old) to go to the bathroom by herself at night. She’s also going through that scared of the dark/sleeping by herself phase, so kind of a double whammy. Each night I start the evening out with nicely begging her to stay in bed. She responds with “but if I really really need you, you’ll come in, right?”

Of course I will.

However the “really need you” moments have lately been getting more and more, um, how should I say…. creative. Tonight, for example….

-“MOMMY, I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU!!!!!!”

-I go into her room (btw, this is the FOURTH time since I put her to bed about 20 minutes ago). “What do you need, Tatum?”

-“Mommy, did you know I’m ALLERGIC to COYOTES???”

-“Um, no, kid, I wasn’t aware of that. Because you aren’t.”

And while it’s funny, it’s also annoying, because it happens at midnight, 3:30 in the morning, 5 in the morning, and so on and so forth. Last night I got about an hour and a half stretches of sleep between both kids. Mommy gonna lose her mind over here.

Anyone else with kiddos have that issue? Could really use some advice, or random thoughts, or maybe even some vodka and funny memes. šŸ˜‰

Things kids say….

Yesterday I was dropping Tatum off at her preschool, and they have horses there. We’re driving past the pasture and I comment to myself that there’s a ton of horse poop out there.

“That’s not horse poop, Mommy. It’s way too light brown”

So I launch into an explanation of that’s what horse turds look like and why until she gives me this “you’re stupid” look and exclaims:

“But it’s in PILES!”

Yeah, kid, it is. Big ones. šŸ˜‚ Still poop.

Also tonight:

“Sharks aren’t allowed at my swim class because they’re too sharp.”

#truedat

Some days I actually have 3 kids… and not one of them knows whatā€™s going on around them.

Tatum: ā€œI miss Derby, so much, what did he look like again?ā€

Wade: ā€œHe was brown and whiteā€

Tatum: ā€œyeah, I miss himā€

Wade: ā€œYou have Biscuit now, sheā€™s ALSO brown and whiteā€.

Me: ā€œDude, sheā€™s BLACK and white… are you for realz right now? Youā€™ve lived with her over a year nowā€

Wade: ā€œoh yeah, I guess sheā€™s black and white, Tatumā€

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Stuff I Love!!!

Just updated the Stuff I Love page on the website! Ā Some really fun new things, so be sure to check them out!

What kind of stuff do YOU love?? Ā I love learning about new STUFF so be sure to comment and let me know!!

STUFF I LOVE!!!!

Memory Keeping (or if you just really love photo stickers!)

For those of you who have the HP Sprocket photo printer, Amazon has a really good deal going right now for 1/2 off the paper packs! Ā $5 per package – make it yours!!!

HP Sprocket Photo Printer

Paper Packs for $5 each!

I LOVE my sprocket, and use it constantly for my memory keeping at whatnot, super easy, just peel and stick those bad boys into your spreads!

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Someone slap me already…

Sometimes I get all crazy and decide to go full blown “Pinterest Mom”… this usually results in stupid consequences like spending $60 on stickers and die cuts and blank cards and envelopes so I can make cute little handmade Valentine’s Day cards for my kids classmates.

Cards that I spend hours making even though I’ve procrastinated until close to the last minute because lazy mom overpowers Pinterest mom and I have to talk myself into doing it.

Cards that I then realize these kids don’t give a crap about and will end up going straight in the trash in favor of some sort of candy.

I just wasted 3.5 hours of my life I’ll never get back, y’all….

šŸ™‚ šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜‚

What the wha?

***Edited to add, she DID have pants on***

My toddler made me scratch her butt crack in public today. Seriously, threw a fit – I told her to scratch her own butt but she would NOT give it up.

So I scratched it. Because I’m a mom, and that’s what moms do apparently.

She made a huge exaggerated sigh and said “ahhhhhhh” like it was the greatest thing on earth.

No longer “snack bitch”. Now I’m demoted to a butt scratcher…..

#momlife

If you need me…

If you need me, I’ll just be over here…… eating an entire box of Girl Scout cookies by myself and freaking out internally over the huge tunnel they’re going to dig under my house tomorrow and what they might possibly find under there. šŸ˜«šŸ˜«šŸ˜«šŸ˜«šŸ˜«

Buckets of Lists

Been working on getting my shit together lately and so far so good. Next on my list? Another list! I’ve been wanting to put this to paper for a while, but I really need to get my bucket list out of my head and somewhere where I see it more often. Somewhere where it will remind me to plan to actually DO items on that list.

I know I want to visit the last eight US states remaining that I haven’t been to. I want to visit Ireland and Scotland. There’s a lot of other “wants” circling around in there that I just need to finalize. Not all of them are difficult to attain, and as much as I hate the term…. YOLO (you only live once for those of you who are also not millennials) šŸ˜‰

So you tell me…. what’s on YOUR bucket list? I always love hearing people’s big plans for the path of their lives. Let’s hear yours!!!