Tag: mom life

Things Kids Say Part Deuce

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I’ve been having trouble lately with getting Tatum (the 4.5 year old) to go to the bathroom by herself at night. She’s also going through that scared of the dark/sleeping by herself phase, so kind of a double whammy. Each night I start the evening out with nicely begging her to stay in bed. She responds with “but if I really really need you, you’ll come in, right?”

Of course I will.

However the “really need you” moments have lately been getting more and more, um, how should I say…. creative. Tonight, for example….

-“MOMMY, I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU!!!!!!”

-I go into her room (btw, this is the FOURTH time since I put her to bed about 20 minutes ago). “What do you need, Tatum?”

-“Mommy, did you know I’m ALLERGIC to COYOTES???”

-“Um, no, kid, I wasn’t aware of that. Because you aren’t.”

And while it’s funny, it’s also annoying, because it happens at midnight, 3:30 in the morning, 5 in the morning, and so on and so forth. Last night I got about an hour and a half stretches of sleep between both kids. Mommy gonna lose her mind over here.

Anyone else with kiddos have that issue? Could really use some advice, or random thoughts, or maybe even some vodka and funny memes. 😉

Things kids say….

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Yesterday I was dropping Tatum off at her preschool, and they have horses there. We’re driving past the pasture and I comment to myself that there’s a ton of horse poop out there.

“That’s not horse poop, Mommy. It’s way too light brown”

So I launch into an explanation of that’s what horse turds look like and why until she gives me this “you’re stupid” look and exclaims:

“But it’s in PILES!”

Yeah, kid, it is. Big ones. 😂 Still poop.

Also tonight:

“Sharks aren’t allowed at my swim class because they’re too sharp.”

#truedat

Strap that baby to a chair!!

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No seriously guys, this one is for all you mamas of little ones out there!

Secure, and mostly happy.

I found this amazing invention on Amazon the other day and wanted to give it a try. I have my beloved “Tie Chair” but to be honest the bulk and complication of the whole thing makes it difficult to take with us to restaurants and whatnot. I get tired of trying to stuff it in a diaper bag or my purse, tired of trying to tie the knots secure enough, and let’s face it. I’m just tired. 😉

This “Cozy Cover” looked interesting, and the price wasn’t bad, so I thought – I’m already buying crap on Amazon so WHY NOT? AMIRIGHT? It came the other day but I didn’t take it out of the box until yesterday to try it out.

ERMAGERD you guys, this thing is super easy to put on the chair, the shoulder straps are nice and secure (much to my son’s annoyance LOL), and it folds up (or stuffs into, if you’re like me) a little tiny pouch that fits in just about any purse or diaper bag. I LOVE IT! Plus it’s machine washable. BONUS.

I seriously hate restaurant high-chairs (if they even HAVE them half the time), because they look like they’ve been through some kind of high school food fight several years back and never cleaned, OR they’re rickety, OR the buckle on the safety strap is broken, OR they’re missing the crotch strap and your son manages to clothesline himself on the waist bar…. (don’t ask me how I know THAT), OR any ungodly combination of the above. This solves all of that – for realz…..

Unless your restaurant has stools with no backs instead of chairs…. if that’s the case, you’re just screwed. Good luck. 😉

Find it on Amazon here!!! https://amzn.to/2He11Ss

Some days I actually have 3 kids… and not one of them knows what’s going on around them.

MindYourBiscuitsTX

Tatum: “I miss Derby, so much, what did he look like again?”

Wade: “He was brown and white”

Tatum: “yeah, I miss him”

Wade: “You have Biscuit now, she’s ALSO brown and white”.

Me: “Dude, she’s BLACK and white… are you for realz right now? You’ve lived with her over a year now”

Wade: “oh yeah, I guess she’s black and white, Tatum”

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Stuff I Love!!!

MindYourBiscuitsTX

Just updated the Stuff I Love page on the website!  Some really fun new things, so be sure to check them out!

What kind of stuff do YOU love??  I love learning about new STUFF so be sure to comment and let me know!!

STUFF I LOVE!!!!

Someone slap me already…

MindYourBiscuitsTX

Sometimes I get all crazy and decide to go full blown “Pinterest Mom”… this usually results in stupid consequences like spending $60 on stickers and die cuts and blank cards and envelopes so I can make cute little handmade Valentine’s Day cards for my kids classmates.

Cards that I spend hours making even though I’ve procrastinated until close to the last minute because lazy mom overpowers Pinterest mom and I have to talk myself into doing it.

Cards that I then realize these kids don’t give a crap about and will end up going straight in the trash in favor of some sort of candy.

I just wasted 3.5 hours of my life I’ll never get back, y’all….

🙂 🤦‍♀️😂

What the wha?

admin

***Edited to add, she DID have pants on***

My toddler made me scratch her butt crack in public today. Seriously, threw a fit – I told her to scratch her own butt but she would NOT give it up.

So I scratched it. Because I’m a mom, and that’s what moms do apparently.

She made a huge exaggerated sigh and said “ahhhhhhh” like it was the greatest thing on earth.

No longer “snack bitch”. Now I’m demoted to a butt scratcher…..

#momlife

If you need me…

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If you need me, I’ll just be over here…… eating an entire box of Girl Scout cookies by myself and freaking out internally over the huge tunnel they’re going to dig under my house tomorrow and what they might possibly find under there. 😫😫😫😫😫

Buckets of Lists

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Been working on getting my shit together lately and so far so good. Next on my list? Another list! I’ve been wanting to put this to paper for a while, but I really need to get my bucket list out of my head and somewhere where I see it more often. Somewhere where it will remind me to plan to actually DO items on that list.

I know I want to visit the last eight US states remaining that I haven’t been to. I want to visit Ireland and Scotland. There’s a lot of other “wants” circling around in there that I just need to finalize. Not all of them are difficult to attain, and as much as I hate the term…. YOLO (you only live once for those of you who are also not millennials) 😉

So you tell me…. what’s on YOUR bucket list? I always love hearing people’s big plans for the path of their lives. Let’s hear yours!!!

Cool story, bro.

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We had a weekend “task” sent home from Tatum’s daycare this weekend… to trace her body on a sheet of butcher paper, cut it out, and send it back.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*wipes tears* no, I’m serious.

She’s FOUR. It took two of us to hold her down to get the outline drawn and even then, THIS is what we ended up with:

Wtf? One impossibly skinny leg, one somewhat normal leg with a cankle, freakishly large hands with fat but crooked fingers, a lumpy waist (not that I can judge on THAT lol), no neck, and what the hell is going on in the shoulder area? Oh, and don’t forget that flat part of her head that looks like her skull has been flattened but is actually me trying to avoid getting permanent marker in her ridiculous mass of hair.

I hope the other kids look as effed up on paper as she does, cause that just ain’t right. (Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I don’t hope the other kids are ACTUALLY effed up, I just don’t want to be the only parent with zero skills… because how the heck do you get a ticklish four year old to lie still for longer than 3.5 seconds???)